Are you a people pleaser?
Learn how to put yourself first with hypnotherapy.
Specialist hypnotherapy and coaching in Spalding, Lincolnshire and online.
Are you always putting other people before yourself?
Of course you want other people to be happy, but if it's started to stop you being happy, then you've got a problem.
Everyone wants to be liked.
Who doesn't want to be liked?
Who doesn't want people to think nicely of them?
People pleasing describes a type of behaviour where you put other people's happiness, needs and desires in front of their own.
It's more common in women than men, and this might because girls are often raised to be "good" and "kind".
It even has a medical name, and that's "sociotropy"; which means you focus on other people's happiness and what other people think of you.
Spotting if you're a people pleaser.
How many of these common symptoms of people pleasing apply to you?
Do you find it hard to say "no" to people?
And when you do say "no", do you feel guilty?
Do you worry about what people will say when you do say "no"?
Do you agree to do things that you don't want to do because it will make other people happy? Even when that means you have no time for the things you want to do?
Do you take the blame when things go wrong? Even when it's not your fault?
Do you say "sorry" a lot?
There are many reasons why you might be a people pleaser.
People who are insecure can often be people pleasers.
They worry people won't like them if they don't do things to make them happy.
Sometimes, people with low self-esteem can be people pleasers. They don't feel like their needs are important as other peoples. That low self-esteem leads to low self-confidence, which means they'll do things for other people, so that other's will give them validation.
Some people are people pleasers because they've experienced abuse or trauma in the past. They've learnt to be afraid of confrontation and anger, so they do all they can to avoid it. Including putting others first.
Other people are actually perfectionists. They want everything to be perfect and to be just right. And that includes how other people feel.
Your people pleasing can make you unwell.
If you spend all your time pleasing people, you can end up feeling pretty horrible.
People pleasing can lead to you feeling angry and frustrated.It can lead to you feeling anxious and stressed.
All you do is focus on is others, which means your needs are never met.
How to stop being a people pleaser.
There's some pretty simple ways to stop being a people pleaser.
You can learn to establish boundaries - to tell people when are asking for things that you cannot provide or do not want to do.
This can be tricky, but once you start, you'll find it gets easier and easier.
You can take some time to work out what matters to you.
Once you really understand this, it is easier to put your needs first.
Don't allow yourself to be pressed into making a decision.
Taking some time to decide can make it easier to say "no", and make it less likely you'll be railroaded into doing something you don't want to do.
But if these don't work, hypnotherapy can help you break your people pleasing habits, easily and effectively.
Want me to help you stop your people pleasing?
You're welcome to book appointments one at a time.
Appointments cost £80 and last about one and a half hours.
People pleasing is often linked to anxiety and issues from the past. Everyone is different, but I'd recommend at least two appointments.
How you can have hypnotherapy with Vic at Fantastic Day
In Person Hypnotherapy
Working with me in my private hypnotherapy studio in Spalding means you can experience change in a safe, soothing environment, away from distractions.